i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
