so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
