i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
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