you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
