I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
