He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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