i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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