remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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