As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
