I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
