Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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