Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
