i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
