I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
