I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
