i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Everything about him screamed your future.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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