Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
