Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
