it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
40s are totally the cure
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
