On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
My penis needs a shock collar
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
