It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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