is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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