make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Randomize
