I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
