Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
