I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
