i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
3 2 1 whiskey
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Randomize
