no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Quick, to the slutcave!
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
