Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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