Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
