I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Sorry my hands just texted you
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
