last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
