That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
