It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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