But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
