The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
