Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
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