It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Randomize
