love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
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