we have pet lesbian snakes
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
