Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
