Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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