I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
