You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
i think my cat just said my name.
Randomize
