maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
40s are totally the cure
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
