there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
