She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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