I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
