youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
