Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
