My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
