Where is the hickey?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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